11.8.11 was my first post on blogger.
I had originally started out with the tagline of “Happiness is Free”, and it is. Sure money can buy you
class things and experiences, but having people to share it with is what truly matters. When I started my blog, I had recently graduated from college, moved to the twin cities (where E was living), and started the hunt for a career out of school. This search wasn’t easy, and it usually didn’t come with any responses. I had a big red X painted across my resume, and it was all because I had failed my national boards by one question.
Three years ago, I thought my life was determined by that test. THE test that determined my future, our future. Failing this test wasn’t an option, and the pressure and stress consumed me. My husband had already been out of college for a year, and had landed a job that he loved and close to home. All that was left of the start of our “Happily Ever After”, was me…and that test.
I walked out broken hearted and defeated. I felt like 5 years had been for nothing. I know that this sounds dramatic, but that is THE GOAL. That is the steps that you have to take to get from point A to point B. And just when you think you are getting to point B, the world (or God himself) wants it another way, and it doesn’t go the way you planned.
Plan is a funny word, because can you really plan anything? I imagine sometimes if I would have passed right away, where E and myself would be today. We might still be in the twin cities. We could be living in that house that we were four days away from closing on. We could already have started our family. Sounds nice,right!?
Could. Might. We will never know.
What I do know is that my blog that I started over three years ago, has captured a lot of our moments; whether trial or tribulation. It started when I felt like I was at rock bottom, and takes me through some of my highest moments. I can look back and see personal growth; one of the most important being my confidence. It never left me, but the world can sure kick a girl when she is already down.
I think I started blogging because I wanted to remind myself that happiness doesn’t mean that everything comes easy. Happiness doesn’t mean that you get everything right away, and sometime you don’t even know what truly makes you the happiest. Planning can only go so far, before the world steps in, fate takes place, and Gods plan runs its course.