SheSharesTruth:: Learning to choose God.

I have been following the SheReadsTruth community since last summer. I don’t remember how I stumbled upon it, but I’m quite positive that God lead me to it. He knew what I needed, before I really knew what I was needing.

Over the past nine months, I have built on my relationship with God. I have loved chapters of the Bible that I have never read before. (I think James is one of my favorite thus far). I have felt how the presence of God will become a stable foundation in your life, if you only just let him in.

Today is SheSharesTruth on the SheReadsTruth community. (That’s a mouthful). Over the last week and a half we have been reading about how Jesus has shown himself to his disciples, to make them believe that He is the Son of God. For they didn’t understand the scriptures, the plan from the very beginning. That Jesus had to die for our sins, for the scripture to be completed. However, the story doesn’t stop with Jesus’s resurrection, it continues through his disciples, ambassadors, and children to speak to others about this amazing story. This amazing gift that he has given us.

Which brings me to todays topic. Being an ambassador of Christ.

For me it’s a constant struggle. If I look deep into the reasoning of why I coward away–and it is cowardness, I can only think it is because I am worried about what others may think. I have had a few moments recently where I have felt the presence of God telling me to “say something”, but my fear of reactions get the best of me.

For example. I wake up earlier than I need to most days, because I like to have coffee and do my daily devotion before work. I love this time, it is the quiet time with the Lord before the world breaks in, and I also feel like his teachings stay with me throughout the day. I am a better person because of this. However, when asked about it at work, I pick and choose what I say. I tell them that I enjoy getting up having my coffee and reading. Note the difference? Why couldn’t I just say that I read my bible? And here is the honest truth, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of how people’s thoughts about me might change once they find out that I read the bible. People can talk about how they go to Church every Sunday, but once you say you read the Bible everyday their faces just turn into this stunned look.

Even worse,  I have only known these people for about a year. I call them “friends”, because I really haven’t met anyone else besides coworkers. They are good people, but I really shouldn’t care what they think. But in our society, we do. I want to feel excepted, and that apparently means hiding a part of myself.  It’s amazing to me, that people who I barely know influence my thoughts and actions more than myself being an ambassador of Christ. I choose people I barely know, over my One True King who has been loving me since the beginning.

I know there are many others, like me, that want to be better ambassadors of Christ, SheReadsTruth is a excellent example, but why is it that speaking about our faith in real life so hard?

Lord,

I can only dream that you will continue to grow within me. Build a foundation within me that nothing and no one can knock down. Give me the strength and courage to become a better child of Christ, to help spread the world about your never ending forgiveness, grace, and hope. I pray that you will lead me in the right direction, so that I will find others like me who will embrace my true self. I choose You, over them. It should never have been a competition. Give me the courage to never step back from an opportunity to bring you into the conversation, to express your great love for us.

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